The Dote 3

Hey friends!

Thanks for the fun responses to last week. It’s been awesome getting to catch up with you and chat about random stuff.

I said I didn’t know how reliably I’d be writing The Dote, and this week is an example of why. Life gets busy!

But writing the last two Dotes has built momentum to continue writing, so I want to at least keep something going. The more I write, the more I think about other things to write. The problem is, a lot of the things I want to write will probably take hours to sit down and hash out, and I just didn’t have it in me this week.

So instead, I’ll share a story from doing VO2 tests the last few weeks.

The life Dote: VO2 Max testing

Back in March I made a crazy decision, kind of on a whim, to buy a VO2 analyzer from VO2 Master and start running a small testing business. The full reason behind it is probably worth another post, but the TLDR version is that I wanted to start a “side hustle” doing something I’m passionate about and I think there’s a market for VO2 testing in my area. So, within a week of learning about VO2 Master’s portable VO2 analyzer, I found myself dropping $7,000 and spending every extra moment teaching myself physiology.

My “company” is called VO2 Testing (I went with the Ron Swanson method of naming the business the thing that it does), and I basically give it 3-5 hours a week.

A couple weeks ago I had two tests book through my website on back to back days that could not have been more different.

The first guy was a 28-year old who needed a VO2 max above 35ml/kg/min in order to pass the police academy assessment. I talked to him on the phone a few times and thought that it would be a pretty cut and dry test, but turned into the most awkward experience I’ve had yet.

I’ve talked with a few people going into the police academy and needing a VO2 Max. One of the fitness standards of the academy is running a mile and a half in less than 15 minutes. If you can’t run it, though, either because of an injury or because you can’t make the time cap, the alternative is getting an official VO2 Max of 35ml/kg/min.

If you don’t know what VO2 Max is, it’s the gold standard measurement for how much oxygen your body can consume. It essentially measures the peak of your cardiovascular capacity. The higher the number, the healthier you are.

A VO2 Max of 35 is…not that high. By most charts, it would be considered “poor” for anyone younger than 50.

This guy told me all about the lifting he does and says he’s in great shape, so I figure we’ll have no trouble getting him above 35. Rookie mistake. I should have known there was a reason he couldn’t make the 15 min 1.5 mile time cap.

We tested at my buddy Brad’s PT clinic (thanks Brad!) in South Jordan at 5pm. The clinic is mostly done for the day buy has a couple patients left - older women - rehabbing their shoulder or something basic.

When my customer walks in I instantly realize that we might be in for a struggle. He’s a 5’8”, 215 pound juggernaut of solid, inflexible muscle. Huge shelf of a chest with arms and a neck the size of my legs (and my legs are not small).

I get his profile set up, fit him for the mask, and walk him through the testing protocol. We’re doing a Graded Exercise Test that starts him walking on the treadmill at a 2% incline at 2mph and then we increase 0.5mph every minute until he hops off. I show him the screen with his numbers, we agree that all we’re going for is a VO2 Max above 35, and we start the test.

Four minutes into the test he’s lumbering at 4mph and already has to start holding on to the side rails to keep up. I realize I’m going to have to call an audible because this guy just can’t move fast, so I tell him we’re going to max his speed at 5.5mph and start cranking up the incline.

At 5.5mph this guy is huffing and puffing and it looks like we’re reaching peak VO2. We’re both watching the number like a hawk. Before the test I had told him that it although he might see it spike, it takes a 30 second average VO2 Max for the final score, but as soon as he saw it hit 35.5 he hits the emergency stop button and hops off the treadmill.

I pulled the mask off his face because he was wheezing like crazy, but I had a pit in my stomach. Sure enough, when the report pulls up it shows his VO2 Max at 33. I didn’t know what to do. I looked through all the numbers and vocalized my thought process as best I could. I showed him his breathing volume, his frequency, his heart rate, and all the graphs that indicated to me that there weren’t any leaks or malfunctions, but as I started to walk him through some high intensity training exercises he interrupts me and says, “no, I need the score by this weekend. It can’t be right.” I looked at him and could tell that he was pissed.

I understand his frustration, but I was honestly pretty confident we’d hit his VO2 max pretty accurately, so I didn’t know what to do. I finally offered him to strap on the mask again and give it another go. Told him we’d just keep it at 5.5mph, crank up the incline, and I’d yell at him until we got the number.

So, we strap the mask on again and go for it. He instantly started using the handrails for support and was lumbering on the treadmill like a giant. I felt very self conscious of the old women who came to calmly rehab their bad shoulders. I kept encouraging him as best I could while we watched the VO2 Max number creep up towards 35. When it finally hit 35 I yelled at him that he needed to give me 90 more seconds to be safe. He kept going. 60 seconds left…30 seconds…10….

He couldn’t keep going any longer, hit the emergency stop, and jumped off the treadmill. I had no idea if we’d gotten it, but he instantly started wretching, so I stripped the mask off his face and pointed him to the bathroom. He stumbled in and I’m pretty sure threw up in the toilet. Again, all in front of these calm old women.

When the test came up his result was 35.5ml/kg/min. JUST above his 35 target. I was amazed he fought through and relieved that he actually had it in him. A near-death battle to earn him a 10th percentile VO2 Max. But hey, he told me he can back squat 600 pounds so I guess that’s cool.

A great lesson that appearance is not a great indicator of health.

The second guy I tested was awesome. He was a 70 year old retired physician and avid cyclist who just wanted to know his numbers. We did his test on a bike trainer and he got a 46, excellent for someone in their 40s. Much more pleasant experience!

I guess the lesson here is…just take care of yourself. Don’t be like the 28-year old bodybuilder who is sacrificing health just to be strong. Not worth it, in my opinion.

Here’s a pic of what it looks like to do the test. Grabbed a pic of T in honor of his crushing an Ironman this weekend!

The Fitness Dote: Trouble in the Siberian Peninsula

Russian Squat Program update - I failed my heavy 2×2 on Wednesday. I was supposed to hit 2 sets of 2 reps at 100% of my 1RM (365 lbs).

This one seemed a little too crazy to believe, but I still gave it a go. On the bright side, I hit 365 three times! I just couldn’t hit two in a row.

Might have been partially because I was lifting at 5:30am on an empty stomach. All my other heavy days have been on a Friday or Saturday when I can do the workout later in the morning after I’ve eaten.

Might also have been because it’s just freaking heavy. I took the rest the week off of heavy squats and I’m going to try again this week.

That’s enough rambling for this week.

Amazing if you made it to the end of this.